How do you know if it’s time to let go or not? I mean, when
is enough...enough? It’s almost been 6 months and I still think about him every
day. I feel like when we broke up, I got all the good memories and he got all
the bad. All I think about is the times we spent laughing and smiling and
cuddled up together. It makes all the fighting and crying seem so small… Is it
the opposite for him? I’m scared I will never love anyone as much as I loved
him. Every day I feel
like something is missing and that something is him. I know that I shouldn’t need
anyone to complete me and I’m trying so hard but I was so happy with him. I’m
the one that messed everything up and thinking back to a year ago, I was so immature.
I was scared. I was scared that maybe he wasn’t the right one for me and that
maybe I was missing out. I guess you never really know until it’s too late. I
kept thinking about what could have been with someone else while I totally
missed out on what should have been with him. Is there any coming back from
this? It was the ONE thing that I was never supposed to do and I didn’t plan on
doing it but I fucked up. I don’t really know what happened but it was not pleasant
or with it in anyway. The way I hurt him will be permanently scarred into my
brain. How could I do that to the man I love? What kind of horrible person
would do such a thing? I will always hate myself for it. But at least I will
never make the mistake again. I’m not even with him and I haven’t wanted anyone
else. Maybe the relationship was doomed to begin with. We were so attached to
each other that in the end I didn’t know who I was without him. I suppose it
was a good thing that we broke up. I’m starting to find myself again. I just
wish that I could be me with him. I long for his touch… I even imagined another
guy's arms were his the other day as horrible as that sounds. I miss running my
hands over his soft skin while we lay in his bed. I think the way he smelled
haunts me the most. It was my favorite scent. Half of me wants to say screw him,
I don’t need him. And I know that’s true, I don’t. But I do want him. I am still
completely in love with him that it hurts. I am in physical pain. My heart
aches. There has to be a way I could prove myself to him right? Some way I could show him I've changed and that I would be completely loyal? I know right now I am still growing and in no way am ready to jump back
into anything…but if there is a chance that we could start over, that we could
be happy again, why shouldn’t we at least try? How do you know what to do? How do
you know if you should keep trying or not? How do you know if it’s time to let
go?
